A COMPREHENSIVE LIST OF NONSENSICAL OBSERVATIONS

These are some things I've learned about myself & the world in the last 72 hrs or so. Not all of them make alot of sense (even to me!) and some are more like peeves than anything else. I was gonna entitle this "TEN THINGS I'VE LEARNED" but the list quickly grew to more than ten, so I'll just write/blog til it stops being funny. Because, believe me, most of it's funny.......

1. I never knew I could love someone so deeply that I've only actually met once
2. Never knew I'd still be able to write about it when they met someone else
3. Knitting helps to soothe my aching heart, but a trip to the LYS (local yarn shop) helped me almost forget why I was sad in the first place - notice I said ALMOST
4. Just when I need solace in God's arms, I decide I'm too depressed to get outta bed & go to church
5. I'm a sucker for "orphan" skeins of yarn @ said LYS
6. Knitting a lace scarf with pink yarn on rose-colored needles will make you forget anything that's bothering you, if you don't go blind first
7. I have become old enuff to need more than 2 lights on @ a time when I knit
8. But I'm not so old that hair color & the attention of young men can't make me feel better
9. I've decided it's Ella's fault that Murphy's Law follows me around some days - after all, her last name is Murphy & I gotta blame somebody, right?
10. It's a federal law that you HAVTA buy yarn that's 75% off - isn't it?
11. That I sincerely do NOT wanna clean the offices today
12. I find I blog more often when I'm hurting
13. Just when you think you have the world by the tail, you don't
14. It is too warm outside now for me to have that extra blanket on my bed - either that or I'm having hot flashes again
15. That it can be 70 outside & Ella will still turn the heat up to 75 degrees, put on flannel PJ's & a robe, then cover herself with a fleece blanket & tell me she's having trouble catching her breath. Can we say heat stroke, perhaps?

Okay - that's all the idiosyncrasy I can come up with today.......and I REALLY gotta clean this office, now!! LOL I do wanna be at church at 5 pm.

Peace, kids!

This Heart O' Mine...

I must say that 72 hrs ago, I wouldn't have had the courage or even the will to blog. But things change, especially given enuff time. I know that what is happening is for the best - it's exactly what I wanted for him. What I don't know is why it still hurts so bad - even after 3 days. Oh, the pangs in the heart aren't as huge as they were on Thursday. But they are still making themselves know, sometimes when I least expect it.

What I can be grateful for is that I knew this day would come, even if I chose to hide it from myself. I have great friends & a great program to help me thru this period. And I didn't eat or even smoke over it. What else can I say? That in itself is fantastic, and 2-3 yrs ago would not have been a possibility. So, I have a lot to be grateful for in my life.

And I can also be grateful that I helped & encouraged a young man who had led a sheltered life to get out into the world. To develop new interests & friendships. To become someone he turned to when things weren't going so great, and that he is there for me (and me for him) even now - if only to talk. And he gave me the greatest gift of all - his love & acceptance. For that, I am always grateful.

Besides - if you love someone, really love someone, you gotta want what's best for them, right? ;~)

Peace.