I must say that 72 hrs ago, I wouldn't have had the courage or even the will to blog. But things change, especially given enuff time. I know that what is happening is for the best - it's exactly what I wanted for him. What I don't know is why it still hurts so bad - even after 3 days. Oh, the pangs in the heart aren't as huge as they were on Thursday. But they are still making themselves know, sometimes when I least expect it.
What I can be grateful for is that I knew this day would come, even if I chose to hide it from myself. I have great friends & a great program to help me thru this period. And I didn't eat or even smoke over it. What else can I say? That in itself is fantastic, and 2-3 yrs ago would not have been a possibility. So, I have a lot to be grateful for in my life.
And I can also be grateful that I helped & encouraged a young man who had led a sheltered life to get out into the world. To develop new interests & friendships. To become someone he turned to when things weren't going so great, and that he is there for me (and me for him) even now - if only to talk. And he gave me the greatest gift of all - his love & acceptance. For that, I am always grateful.
Besides - if you love someone, really love someone, you gotta want what's best for them, right? ;~)
Peace.
And in the process you discovered how deeply you could care for another person...
ReplyDeleteKudos to you for staying present.